Take My Grandpa's License Away!

I just picked up my contacts from the eye doctor and decided to take a spin through Starbucks' drive-thru before hitting the highway back home. I made it safely through the round-a-bout onto a four lane semi-busy road. I'm driving along and coming up to an intersecting street. All of a sudden a silver Ford Focus tries to make a left turn in front of me from the crossing street. I do not have a traffic light or stop sign, mind you. They, however, do! I had to swerve, honk my horn and yell "WHAT THE FUCK?" (pardon my French).

Then I realized it was my grandfather. I swore at my grandfather. My heart was racing, and I'm not quite sure if the surprised look on his face was that of recognition, or fear of being hit. If I see him on Christmas, am I supposed to bring this up? What is proper protocol for handling this situation? I should check out the Hallmark aisle at the store to see if there are any cards for the occasion. 

Teenage Termoil

Caliber turned six months old on November 12. Since then, he has really been a snot. The next couple months with him are going to be trying, I'm sure. Between six and eight months is what "they" call a dog's "teenage years." He is constantly full of energy, and not that great of a listener (unless you have chicken in your hand). Every walk we take him on, it's like he just discovered he has a nose. He zig zags all over the place, pulling at the end of his leash to get a wonderful whiff of God knows what.

We made it through teething with only losing a few rolls of toilet paper, but now he's just being rebellious. Examples as follows:

• I took a 10 minute shower and came out to him chewing up my Airwalk slipper shoes. Damnit. Now what inappropriate shoes am I going to wear in the rain and snow, and then complain about my feet being drenched and make Mike mad and say "I told you so"?
• I let Cal outside and a few moments later when I came back to check on him, he already dug up one of our plants in the backyard. How rude. Now he digs in that hole every time he goes outside. Ah! Save your digging for the dog park, please!
• While Mike was in the shower this morning, he came out to a chewed and shredded notebook, topped with orange pen shards. He also began chewing on the platter mat for my record player. Le sigh.
• He has realized he can now sniff the counter tops. He's tall and nosey. Let the counter surfing begin!
• He chases the cat. OK, OK, he did that before he turned six months... I must say, Kisa is becoming a lot more brave about coming out of her little room. Especially when she's hungry!

Despite all of this, he's still the cutest, silliest, sweetest, most bestest dog ever.

Kisa the Kitten

Why I thought adopting a kitten at this point in Caliber's life was a good idea, I'll never know. I've been wanting a cat for years and Mike has been telling me to get one (especially the free ones at Petco), but it just never seemed right. I was aimlessly wandering through petfinder.com and came across a very cute kitten at my local shelter. I had no choice but to adopt her, if for nothing else, to change her name to anything besides Nicole. Who names a cat Nicole? This little cutie pictured below had been at the shelter for THREE MONTHS! Can you believe it? She came in as a stray, and is believed to be about five months old. We're pretending she has the same birthday as Caliber since he was five months old too!

 

I named her Kisa (pronounced Keysa). It's from the wonderful manga Fruits Basket. Cute as can be, but she's been a real challenge for my little guy. He just wants to play with her and sniff her all the time. I think he's expecting her to play like the dogs at the dog park. Instead she shys (runs frantically) away from Caliber.

 

This is pretty much how the entire day goes...Kisa on her side of the baby gate, Caliber on the other... whining. Nonstop. Pacing. Ringing the bell to go outside. Sniffs around the house for her. I swear he thinks there are two of her. Getting a big gulp of water. Repeat.

 

 

Until she runs across the house and dashes under the bed. Then all hell breaks lose. Caliber isn't quick enough for Kisa's tight maneuvering. His paws thomp on the floor (when did I get a horse?) and his claws scurry--I swear our hardwood floors are an ice rink for him. Of course, when the bedroom door is closed it really throws off her game. You never know if she'll make it back to laundy room in time, or if she'll hideout behind the couch.

 

We have tried everything to get them to be calm around each other. Caliber has never once tried to hurt her, he just buries his nose into her for a good smell that he cannot get enough of (no, she doesn't appreciate it). We had her wear a calming collar that smelled like lilacs and chamomile that was supposed to mimic mom's pheromones, but it didn't seem to calm her. We had Caliber on a leash, but Kisa didn't know that so she still ran away. We had Kisa in the carrier and let Caliber come to it, but she just hissed at him. I even did the no-no thing and held her and put her near him. That actually seems to work the best. I kinda hold her against her will and don't let her swat at his nose. From what I read, it will take a while. It's been over two weeks and let me tell you... I am running low on patience. I can understand why she's afraid of a big thing charging at her, but he's not always chasing her and he's never once tried to bite her or anything.

 

It's extra hard for me because cats aren't energy-based like dogs are, so I don't know how people train them. I think it'll get better once Caliber stops reacting to her presence. Eventually she'll stop being afraid, right? I don't know how anyone, or anything, could not love my sweet baby dog. He doesn't get it either...

 





Damnit

On my last grocery store visit I accidentally bought Halloween Funfetti cake mix and frosting. Then the next day I accidentally baked it. Then Mike and I impressively only ate one piece each after dinner.

I put my Pyrex glass dish cover over the metal cake pan even though it didn't fit--just to cover it up so any random kitchen debris wouldn't ruin my masterpiece. Apparently I hallucinate pantry tornadoes and fridge hurricanes. As I placed it back in the oven for storage I thought, "Mike is going to turn the oven on and not realize this is in here." But, instead of doing anything about it I just walked away. I didn't even caution Michael.

The next day I had a piece of cake for breakfast (best decision ever), and placed the pan back in the oven. I went about my day and when dinner time was rolling around I decided we were having burgers and fries. A few minutes before Mike came home I preheated the oven so it'd be ready in time.

He walks in the door, greets Caliber and me and then alerts me that the cake pan is in the hot oven. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.

So here's what I pulled out. If you look closely, you can see the black pot holder melted to the top right corner. It was pretty much unavoidable. Why I even used the damn cover is beyond me. You can tell it doesn't fit. It merely sat on top, doing nothing to keep my cake moist and delicious. Everyone knows there's no kitchen debris in the OVEN where I placed it. Le sigh.

Here's what a frosted cake looks like when you bake it...

The worst part is that I had a fork in the pan from when I ate my breakfast, so that was hard to pull off. I almost had to ask Mike to help, but didn't want him to know about it. Thank God I found some muscle! I couldn't save my Pyrex cover for my dish, but I managed to save my fork. Ya win some, ya lose some.

Once the melted cover cooled, it peeled off the pan pretty easily. The pan itself was in good shape. We thought about eating the cake, but the new texture it acquired stopped me. It was hard but spongey at the same time. And of course, I kept recalling when Fred Mertz baked a seven layer cake, but only presented one flat-as-a-pancake layer because he included them all as one! And the frosting was mixed in there too. Pretty sure his looked better than this.

So a few lessons were learned on this adventure--Next time I think Mike will F something up, say it out loud to help me remember so I'm less likely to F it up. And, don't put baked goods back in the oven. Just give up the counter space for God's sake. I have plenty of room! Good thing I'm not a homemaker full time! 

Questions

Here is a short list of questions I often ask myself:

• It is the 21st century... Why can't semi trucks accelerate to 65 mph by the time they reach the end of the on-ramp to enter the highway?
  
• Why don't I pee BEFORE I paint my nails?!
  
• When will Michael hang the curtain pull-backs I bought in June? Why don't I just do it myself?
  
• How do I not get sick of watching reruns of Gilmore Girls, Full House, Frasier and Roseanne no matter how many times I've seen the episode?
  
• Can I just get married now please? For free. Thanks.
  
• Will my walnut tree ever be empty of nuts? It's so scary to stand in my yard without a helmet.
  
• How was I lucky enough to get the best puppy in the universe?
  
• Why does Michael always try to talk to me while I'm blow drying my hair?
  
• Why oh why did I move to a city with no Taco Johns?
  
• When the H will Kraft get their shit together and change their box-opening design. It has never worked, and it never will. "To open, push here" it says. But opening it by a simple press of the thumb is NEVER going to happen. 

Sock Fight

Today I did Mike's laundry, and it reminded me of a "fight" we had a few months ago. You see, he found a "new" white sock in his clothes pile. He declared it must be mine, because it was too white and new to be his. After I looked at it I said, "Michael, that is not mine--it's huge!" He was too stubborn to realize that maybe (just maybe) this particular sock has been hiding at the back of the drawer for a few months. Disgusted by this "mysterious" sock, he tossed it in the garbage.

So today I snuck into his sock drawer determined to prove myself right. And what did I find? A crisp, white sock to match the one he carelessly threw away. Now this lonely sock will be without it's sole mate (see what I did there?).

He obviously has this style of sock in his "used" sock collection...

Just for laughs, here's a comparison of his athletic sock (bottom) compared to mine (top).

My Puppy is Acting Like a Puppy

Remember that cute, little fluffy pup I brought home on July 7? Me neither. I literally have to look at pictures to remember how little he was! It's funny to think how much my life is different now that I have a "baby". Things I can add to my resume:

• Amateur Dog Whisperer
• Typical Worrisome Mom

This morning I brought Caliber in from his kennel and noticed a red spot on the inside of his back leg.  I got a good look at it and saw a thin, red ring with pink shading inside. Oh no. Ringworm. I called the vet and took him in.

The doctor held a black light up to the spot to see if it glowed under it. If it glows, it's a good indication that it is indeed ringworm. It did not glow. :) Whew! She told me that ringworm in dogs is actually more scaley and typically on their face. It's most often picked up by cats who are infected. He was wrestling with another puppy at the dog park, and it could've been a bruise from that. I had no idea a bruise could look like human ringworm, but, I am so glad it does! It could also be a bug bite. Either are likely.

While we there, we also checked to see if his second testicle descended, and it did! Finally! If it didn't by six months, it means it probably will never drop, and he'd need surgery to remove it. If it stays up in him, then he's more likely to develop the cancers that are associated with that area. We also weighed him... My 15-weeks-old German Shepherd is 37.6 pounds of puppy love. Woof!

I haven't noticed any of his teeth missing yet, but he should start losing them soon. In the meantime, my monster has been doing some cliche puppy things I could do without.

So far he's eaten 1.5 rolls of Cottonelle Clean Care toilet paper right off the dispenser.


And he thought eating and scratching the wall next to the electrical outlet would be a great snack.


I still love my little guy. He does me proud most of the time. Today he got into the car all by himself instead of putting his front paws up and waiting for further assistance. He conquered the couch a few weeks back too. His next big obstacle is stairs. The only ones we have are down to our basement (which you access through the garage), so he isn't around them to practice. Last weekend at my dad's house he went upstairs by himself, and then was stuck. It took him a few minutes, but with patience and encouragement he came down all by himself. When I go down to the basement at home, though, he just waits anxiously and lets out a few barks until I return. Those stairs are scary--I'll give him that. No light, and they're not even heights. So they suck for us humans, too!

New York City

I want to visit New York City, but not today's New York City. I want to visit NYC in the 1930s. When it was cool to play trumpets and saxophones, because you can hear the soul of the music through them. When telephone numbers had exchange names, like WEllington 3-1247. When TV would have dead air--on purpose. When people danced for fun, not because they are drunk. When people walked to school uphill both ways with no shoes in the snow. When people traveled by train, and decorated their luggage with stickers. When drug stores sold sundaes. When girls wore dresses and boys were suits. When roads were bumpy, not with blacktop patches, but with cobblestone (I don't know what roads were made out of in the 30s, but in my mind it's cobblestone).

Why New York? I don't know. Maybe city life in the 1930s was the same in all the big towns, but I feel like fast-paced New York is the right city to be in during this era. After all, it's where Lucille Ball was.

DIY Kitchen Art

So I was dying to put up something fun on our white kitchen walls. To kill some dead space when we first moved in, I threw up our coffee clock and my calendar on some nails that were left by the previous tenants. While I was wondering around on Pinterest, I stumbled upon this cute giraffe DIY art. Then I realized that I could do the same thing, but make it kitchen-themed! Hooray! To be honest, I didn't really read her tutorial. All I read was "silhouette" and I took it from there!

So I Googled "kitchen silhouettes" and found some free clipart that I downloaded. I decided to stick with the things we love most--coffee and wine. I enlarged the images in Publisher, and printed out just the outline (to save ink). Then I went to Wal-Mart and bought 4 cheap 8X10 frames and scrap book paper.

I taped my silhouette cut outs onto the patterned scrapbook paper I wanted to use, and cut out the shape. Then I taped the cutout to my backing paper (the silver is foil paper) and threw it in the frame! Simple! The hardest part was hanging them. I hate measuring and figuring it all out. So I sorta randomly hung one and then made Michael do the rest :) He's not the biggest of fan of them--he finds them "kinda plain". But, I like that their simplicity.

I'm sorry for the poor quality photos, I had to use my phone. The camera cord is somewhere in the abyss of my basement... It was impossible to not get reflections in the glass, or the foil paper!

Making Tacos is Hard

To save a few bucks, Mike and I have been buying 5lbs of hamburger and separating it into one 1lb bag and two 2lb bags to freeze for about a month now. The other night we decided on tacos for dinner, so I took out the bag of hamburger from the fridge and dumped it in the frying pan. Mike was trying to get Caliber to take his pill, which wasn't going well for him. I started to think, "Geez, this is a lot of hamburger for this pan... Maybe it's just because it's still in big chunks." Then Mike goes, "HONEY! That's TWO pounds!"

Darnit.

After Michael and I bickered about, "Didn't that look like a lot of meat for the pan?!" "Yes, I was just thinking that..." I removed the pan from the hot burner to prevent any more cooking, and grab a new Ziploc Freezer Bag. I was just about to scoop some hamburger back in the bag when I realized I set it on top of the hot burner I just moved the pan from.

Good Lord.

And now Michael thinks I'll never get that off. Really? You're challenging my cleaning skills? Please.

Before I began scouring it, I simply peeled it off. Yup--that easy! No damage done! There were a few smaller pieces I couldn't get off, so I just used my dish sponge. Voila! So if you ever melt plastic on your stove top, there's an easy cleaning solution!

Welcome to Motherhood... Kind of.

Since we welcomed our puppy, Caliber, into our home, I find myself doing a lot of things I never thought I'd do. For instance, I talk for my dog. A lot. He tends to be very polite this way. I refer to myself in third person (as "mom", "mommy", or "mama"). For example, "Mama loves you! Yes she does! She loves you soooooo much!" I talk to him a lot. It's rather ridiculous. I narrate my life to him, and I doubt he even cares. "Mama is going to the kitchen to do the dishes!" "OK, crazy lady... Thanks for the update. I'm gonna continue to chew on my toy."

He hasn't had his final puppy booster shot yet, so I'm a bit paranoid of him meeting other dogs we don't know. Which happened on last night's walk. A very nice grey poodle named Zoey came out to greet us around the block. We let them hang out for a few moments introducing themselves, and the whole time I was panicking that Zoey had 87 different types of transferable bacterium she was passing to Caliber. They were certainly all fatal. Cesar would not approve of this meeting unless we knew Zoey's medical history was outstanding. We walked around the corner, and I expressed my paranoia to Michael. I suddenly stopped and said, "Oh my God. I'm that person--Oh my God, I'm your sister!" You see, one of his sisters was a freak with her first child. I make fun of her (even to her face) about how crazy she seemed to me. Sanitizing everything, not allowing her apple juice because it would make her hyper, etc.

It's been quite an adventure these past three weeks with Caliber. He makes me so happy, scared, upset and paranoid. All totally worth it. As long as he doesn't chew my valuables that is! ;) He's still doing well with his training. He usually listens, unless he's tired or playful. I'm finding it very hard to teach him to "stay". Sometimes it's hard for me to remember he's just a puppy and still has time to learn. He figured out how to bark a week and a half ago, and he occasionally gets sassy--especially if he really wants to bite your toes that you've hidden under your legs!

Puppy Love

Michael and I brought home a beautiful puppy, Caliber, on Saturday, July 7. I've had his name picked out months before we even bought the house. He's a 9-weeks-old German Shepherd from Jerland Kennels. Mike has been wanting a dog from there for nine years. It's a very reputable breeder from Barron, Wisconsin. The owner trained the German Shepherd in Beverly Hills Chihuahua. He also raised and trained the mom to the German Shepherd who plays Jerry Lee in K9 Cop. They are true German Shepherds, bred on strict Germany guidelines.

Caliber is from the last litter V Kalli von der Werther-Muhle SchH III KKL1a will ever have. Kalli was V10 at the 2007 SV Bundessiegerzuchtschan, on Sep 2nd, in Braunschweig, Germany. This contest is only open to the top 100 dogs via invitation only. He has only good reviews. I typically don't care about any of this stuff (I learned so much about breeding when we went to Jerland). I would have adopted a dog from the humane society, but it's great to know he comes from "good blood" because Jerland guarantees against hip displaysia and other common large breed ailments because of their good, strict breeding. They also offer free training sessions from their German trainer. We're going to take him when he's older, it's just gonna suck because it's a 3.5 hour car ride one way for us! Because of all these things, we spent entirely way too much money on the little guy. We are strapped for cash now, but how are you supposed to choose a different puppy when he puts his paw on your hand? 

Caliber has been doing exceptionally well adjusting to his new home. Only two accidents in the house since we've had him for a week and two days. He has a wonderful temperment, meaning he isn't scared by sudden noises (like when I use the shredder, or drop a kettle, etc.) or charge at you when you come through the door. He already understands a few commands, but he can be super stubborn at times! Definitely a puppy! The only "drr" thing he does is eat rocks and dirt. The dirt I can understand, the rocks I'm annoyed by. He could choke or chip a tooth, or God knows what... Unfortunately our yard has a hard time growing grass because of all the shade we have. We decided to put sod over the portion of the yard that is basically a rock garden to deter this.

The first time I put him in his outdoor pen I thought I was going to die. I felt like the worst mom in the universe. He's getting much better now, and so am I! He still whimpers a bit, but it's not horrible. We give him water, his toys and it's very well shaded! Thank God we haven't had any super hot days that I needed to go to work and leave him in there. We opted to use this outdoor pen, because it was already here when we moved in. It has a dog house that we'll need to rebuild to make bigger in a few months, but overall it's great. It's a 10X10 fenced in area behind our garage. The dog house actually attaches to the garage and there's a door that connects it to the garage.

Michael and I aren't really into the whole kenneling your dog thing. We're gone at work for eight hours a day, and until he's older he can get into a lot that I can prevent while I'm gone. I don't want him cooped up for that amount of time. Our breeder suggested we use the outdoor pen because they enjoy being outside. It's better than being baby-gated into a portion of my kitchen. And I agree--unless it's too hot, then obviously inside is more ideal.






He is such a good boy (most of the time). He really filled a part of my heart I didn't know was empty. 

Enemy Number One: Earwigs

Ever since day one of owning our new home, I noticed a buzzing noise whenever I opened the front door. People thought I was nuts, because it only happened if you hadn't opened it in quite a while, and no one ever heard it. I was convinced there was something living inside my door frame, since the noise always came from the top of the door jam. Finally Mike heard it too, and I wasn't crazy any more.


Then one day I was coming inside and saw an earwig on the outside of my front door. I instantly convinced myself they were the culprits living in my door! I picture them crowding inside my door frame in one large hoard. Sick! Sick! Sick!


Then I saw an earwig on the inside of my house. Then I found a few more. I called a pest control company right away and they came the next day and sprayed all around the outside of my house to stop earwigs (and any other pests) from trudging into MY home (a 30 day guarantee). I felt better having my home soaked in pesticides, and I stopped panicking anytime there was dirt on the floor (or just a dark spot on the wood-like laminate flooring we have). Then two days later I saw one darting across my wall late at night. OMG, they go up walls! Mike was asleep and if I woke him up for this he'd be very unhappy.


This little guy was fast, so I had to act fast. I grabbed a paper towel, wrapped it around Mike's shoe (never use your own--ew!), and smacked it. Eeeeeek! Why is it so hard for girly girls to kill bugs? Because they're sick, that's why. And you gotta get real close and they could suddenly have springs for legs and jump into your eye.


So I decided the best thing to do was read all about earwigs.


Orkin's website tells me they are not venomous, they do NOT go into people's ears and eat their brains--it's an old wives' tale--they rarely bite and probably just ventured into my home by human error--like the door was left open, or there's a hole in the window screen. They like warm, damp places, leaves and vegetation. OK. Feeling better.


But then I looked across my desk and saw my little potted plant. It has moist soil. I began to panic again, because obviously it was hosting an earwig party. Finally, I worked up my courage, grabbed the red ceramic pot and rushed it outside to the garage. Whew. Close call. Next I inspected our entryways and windows--nothing too obvious, but earwigs are tiny. Back to the computer.


I did a little research on how to get rid of earwigs, and this is what I came up with:

• Invite their enemy to your yard--birds. Get bird feeders or bird baths so they hang out (and hunt) in your area.
• Spray your plants/gardens with warm, soapy water--it acts as a natural pesticide. 
• Clear away leaves and other yard debris from your house so they aren't as close.
• Use dehumidifiers in your crawl space and attic to make it uninviting to them.
• Put vegetable oil in a small container where you think they are--They climb in, get stuck and die. 

And of course these tips were found on multiple websites, and forums. So I read the comments, and despite Orkin's professional documentation about earwigs, there were a few people who said they had an earwig in their ear. Oh. My. God. IN THEIR EAR! I know, I know--Mike and I have a house rule to not believe anything you read on the Internet (you can read about that here). But, this is different! Another person had an infestation in their bed. Where they sleep. Where I was headed...


Needless to say, my house plant is still in the garage, and earwigs are now on my long list of Things That Make Me Shriek. 

No Red Flag

Since our move I have had a hard time with the postal service. Our mail box is attached to our house (the walk-up kind), and it does not have a red flag or ribbon to alert the mail carrier to pick up my mail. I keep getting mail addressed to the previous tenant, and it just sits in my mail box. I feel like I need a flashing pink neon sign that reads, "For the love of God, take my outgoing mail!" Mike and I are going out tonight to find a solution. We're hoping to just find a red flag to screw on to our existing box. My dad has an old red ribbon that someone just taped into their mail box. Where do you get plastic red ribbon? The closest thing I have is a "The choice for me is drug free" red ribbon from God knows when.

Red flag woes aside, there is one other problem I had with the mail. On June 13 a package from Target arrived on my doorstep addressed to the previous tenant of my new home. The mail carrier didn't take the package even though I used a pink Sharpie to write "RTN to sender--not at this adderess". I gave it two days, but there it sat. I brought it in each night in case it rained. So I emailed Target asking if they could arrange UPS or FedEx (whoever their delivery service is) to come take it back since it's not my problem.

They requested multiple numbers and information from the shipping label (because apparently my address and her name were not enough clues). So, I sent them all the information I could gather from the label.

They returned telling me to print a return label and take it to a UPS store, and they are sending me a $5 Target gift card for the inconvenience. I also found out the order was placed on June 8. The previous tenant moved out the first weekend in May, so it's not really my fault she failed to update her address.

I told them I am not wasting any more time, or going out of my way to return this package to a UPS store. So, either they can arrange to have UPS pick it up, or I will drop it off at my local Target when I drive by it later today.

Am I being a total bitch? Maybe, but seriously I don't feel like wasting my ink, time or energy finding a UPS store and returning this girl's purchase just because she didn't bother to change her address. Perhaps this will lead to bad karma? I didn't try to steal it though, and I was dying to know what was inside.

So I dropped off the package at Target later that day. I was explaining the whole situation to the lady at the service desk, when she decided to open the box to find a packing slip. While I didn't think that was necessary, I was happy to find that it was a Mr. Coffee coffee maker. Whew, mystery solved. A little disappointed that it wasn't something super expensive though.

Next thing I know, I am being asked to select a reason for the return on the credit card machine. I said, "I don't want to return it, it's not mine." She exasperatedly replied, "I know, I know, but I cannot get past this part until you select a reason.So just pick one--any one--it doesn't matter" So I randomly chose "Changed my mind". Then I was told that $30 something will be returned to her credit card. I stepped back and said, "No! I do not have authorization to credit her credit card! I don't want to return it for money, I want to give it back to Target, so they can send it back to wherever it came from!" And I walked away.

I really feel like if the lady would have just listened to my explanation fully before jumping into opening the box, it would have gone a lot smoother. The fact that she said "...returned to HER credit card" I know she knew I wasn't the person who ordered it. I just need to make this face: O_o

Although all this was a nuisance, it was not at the fault of Target, so taking the $5 gift card makes me feel really guilty.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

There are few regrets I have in life, but what I did last Friday is definitely on that short list.

Before we purchased our new washer and dryer I talked to friends and family and read a lot of online reviews and forums. On a forum, someone wrote they thought the Whirlpool Duet washing machine was cool because it holds all the detergent for you from the bottle, and automatically dispenses it in the machine each wash. Mike and I ended up buying the Duet washer/dryer set because they were on sale at Menards with 0 payments and 0 interest for 12 months.

When we got it all set up and running, I didn't see in the directions where it said you could pour the entire detergent bottle in the washer, so I didn't. I did a few loads normally. Then Mike mentioned it as a feature to my parents, and I chimed in saying that I did it the old fashioned way, because the directions don't say that you can. And these appliances have tons of options... I'm not sure what they all are, even! Thank God there's a cycle called "normal" so I know what to fall back on!

But, last Friday... Last Friday I was feeling brave. I poured my entire bottle of detergent down the hole of my brand new washing machine. It's an HE washer and detergent, so it was good for 64 loads! After a few seconds, somehow my hand slipped a bit and I accidentally got some on the wall... Obviously God was slapping my hand saying "Stop!" But, I was all "Pfft... what does God know?!"

As I was emptying the soap into the washer, my gut was screaming "THIS IS WRONG!" I doubted it every step of the way, so I'm not sure why I continued to dump it in. But, it didn't start leaking or seem to get full. Once my canister was empty, I got even more paranoid to push the start button. So I sat on hold with Whirlpool for 12 minutes before someone answered. He was in Tennessee, and all I could picture was Ernie from Bent Forks, Tennessee (a character from "I Love Lucy"). Our conversation didn't go well. I told him which model I had, and asked if this "feature" was real. He said, "no." And he stuck to that answer. Then I asked him, "What if I already poured the entire bottle of detergent into the washing machine?" He kept telling me I shouldn't even be able to pour that much detergent in. I told him that it never started leaking, or backing up, or anything. He was insistent that I get it out if I can, because you're only supposed to use 1/2 cup at most. He didn't make me feel better, since he had to ask if my machine has a drawer I open to dispense the detergent... I'm not sure that he even truly knew what machine I was talking about, actually. He told me that if I run it with that much detergent in the washer, the suds could leak out the front, as well as back up the drain and leak suds there. Oh. My. God. What have I done?

I ran to True Value for a suction gun. The tube would NOT fit down the hole, so I finally called Michael. In tears. He was awesome and told me we'd get it out. So I ran back to True Value and got two sizes of flexible hose, both which still would NOT go down the hole. Please God fix this.

We have our washer/dryer stacked to save room, so thankfully I could help Mike lift the dryer down. I asked him if we should take the clothes out I had in there, but he said "No, it won't make a difference." I tell you this, because you'll find it amusing later on.

A handful of screws and a disconnected hose later, we got nothin'. The detergent doesn't go anywhere. We have no idea. We decide to put it back together, and this is where Mike gets cut up. The hose we disconnected is very flexible, and the metal tie that secures it to the plastic piece requires plyers. Basically, you need about five hands doing something, and there's barely room for one hand in this space. Plus, the opening where Mike needed to put his hands was edged in sharp metal. Pretty cool. Eventually, Mike got it re-attached.

So we finally decide to take the clothes out and run the washer. Well, when I was taking them out, I found the detergent. It goes right to the bottom of the drum. The bottom layer of laundry was drenched in detergent. Had we done this first, we wouldn't have taken it all apart, scratched up Mike's hand, and curse as much as we did. We wiped all we could from the bottom of the drum, and threw two towels in there, and started up the washer.

We let it run for a few minutes, then drained it. We carefully watched the drain, and it never suds up. So we continued to run the washer and drain it for a few hours. A week later, and we're still not adding soap to our laundry. Some loads you need to add an extra rinse cycle to, but it never got messy. Thank God for that. This prompted a new house rule for Mike and me: Don't believe anything you read on the Internet.

Prepping Our New Home

We are making the big move to our new home this weekend. Mike and I have been slowly moving boxes and unpacking them at the home so we can concentrate on just the furniture on moving day. Each night we pack our cars with anything and everything and drop it off at the new house before or after work, depending on how early we leave. Nothing like getting really sweaty in your work clothes first thing in the a.m.!



Our new home is small. But that's OK. It's just the two of us, mortgage is still cheaper than rent, and it's OURS. We have a 1.5 attached car garage, and a short basement for storage (which is good, because we don't have enough closets!). On July 7 we are getting a German Shepherd puppy and I am way more excited about that than owning a home. Probably because the puppy is furry and easier to snuggle.

We prepped our home by painting the living room, dining room, master and spare bedrooms. After we started taping the trim and ceilings, we decided the kitchen can be the white that it is. We are having the hardest time choosing a color for it anyway, and the less taping and painting we have to do the better! What a tedious job. I don't have the patience or motivation for it! We have some touch ups to do, but they're where the ceiling meets the wall. Our ceilings are short--only about seven feet high--and Michael is tall, so he gets to finish perfecting our walls! I did the best I could on my tippy toes, but that doesn't allow me to be as sturdy as I should be! Plus, my neck was about to fall off.

We purchased all our paint from Menards, and there was a sale on Dutch Boy paint, so all our paint is the Ultra kind by them, which saved us from having to do multiple coats.

Spare Bedroom: Putting Green--this is a lot brighter than we imagined, but it's growing on us. I think that because it's such a small room without any other color in it right now it seems overwhelming.


Master Bedroom: Silvered Stone is the light color and Gray-cious is the accent wall--I love my master bedroom! I cannot wait to have it all put together!


Living/Dining Room: Misty Surf--this started drying a baby blue color, and I was scared. The sample was a lot more green. But, when it was completely painted and finally all dry we all fell in love with it. I cannot wait to get my brown furniture in here and see how it looks! The light in the two rooms makes it look like it's two different shades, depending on where you're standing. I love that.


We were noticing a lot of spiders as well. Good thing they don't freak me out! Michael bought some bug bombs that were safe to use inside. I feel bad doing it, but at the same time I don't want them in my home. There are also squirrels in our garage. A family of them. We're not sure how they are coming in, but we think there's a hole behind a speaker that was left in a corner. They're adorable, but I'd prefer if they lived outside.

Our home is small, and doesn't have much closet space. The small bathroom (and lack of a linen closet) and proved to be the biggest challenge for me. There are way too many options to choose from, but I think we have it figured out. There is only one bathroom, so eventually we want to make it a real show-stopper and trick it out with awesomeness. But in the meantime, I'll have to live with its ugly silver AND gold fixtures, including towel holders. Ugh. It could be worse, right? Right.

The main problem with the bathroom is there is a lot of wasted space. There are two windows that are causing us the most grief. The vanity and toilet create this empty corner underneath the windows. So for now we have a hamper there (since Mike cannot pick up his clothes from the bathroom floor, I'm hoping this helps!). There is also no medicine cabinet, so we're buying a corner medicine cabinet to put above the toilet. The space above the toilet and between the window frame is only 18" wide, so we were struggling to find a cabinet to fit there, but the angled cabinet will have a bit more storage, and I think easier to access over the toilet.



This is the corner cabinet we purchased from Walmart.com:



I'm also going to buy a wooden spice rack to put on the inside of the vanity cabinet door to store my hair sprays, hair gels, etc. I'm quickly learning how to maximize space! There are also floating shelves you can put inside the vanity to create storage, but my vanity doesn't have walls between the under cabinet part, and the drawers... But, for those of you with fancy walls in your vanity, you can purchase them at Menards! Or, anywhere probably, since they're just floating shelves! :)

When did it stop being OK to be patriotic?

I have to blog about this, because I've been thinking about it all week and cannot get over it. It's been bothering me that much.

On Memorial Day, this picture showed up in my Facebook newsfeed with this caption:


Nothing says "I love my nation!" like dismembering its flag and sewing it into a shirt!

There are eight "likes" and quite a few comments from others saying that no one understands the flag laws, that this shirt was probably made in China, etc. Not one person (including me--guilty) commented about how this is a ridiculous caption for this photo. I would like to chime in with the following, because this picture, and the fact I didn't comment, has been eating me alive: 


Ummm... Maybe he's just patriotic! It's Memorial Day! It's a polo shirt--not a flag that he stole from the local Perkin's parking lot and then maliciously sewed into a piece of clothing. When I was in elementary school we learned that if a flag touches the ground, you burn it. We learned you respect the flag, how to fold it, etc. This is not a flag. It never was a flag. It's always been a shirt. He didn't destroy a flag, or disrespect the nation. In fact, it's the complete opposite. He's supporting the US and showing his patriotism. So can we all just stop being such asses? Not everything has to be about something. Sometimes people just wear flag shirts, OK?

Losing Weight

I have become somewhat of a calorie counter, and have lost 12 pounds since I began on March 8. I don't really notice the difference yet, but a few people at work have noticed and said something so that's always great to hear! I think I've lost all my weight in my hand, as I can now fit my engagement ring no my middle finger.

I've been at a standstill for about three weeks now. I don't exercise, which I know would accelerate my weight loss, but I hate working out. I have never enjoyed it. I never feel accomplished afterward. I'm really hoping that being a busy-as-a-bee homeowner and mom-to-be German Shepherd will keep me more active. After all, caring for a big dog like that will FORCE me to, at the very least, get up off the couch and open the door for them to go outside. Of course I plan to be a great mommy and play with him/her and go for walks, all that. Michael and I are also planning on getting a push mower that doesn't have a motor. We have a relatively small yard, so the extra work shouldn't be too exasperating.

To help me keep track of my calories and understand portion control, I downloaded MyFitnessPal, a free smart phone app. They also have a website (www.myfitnesspal.com) for those who do not have a smart phone, and the two sync up so you can keep track via both. MyFitnessPal provides you with a daily calorie goal to stick to. When I lost 10 pounds, it dropped me a few hundred calories. I didn't think that was a very nice reward :P I don't strictly follow it, but I try. Sometimes you have to guess on the calories if you go out to eat, but quite a few restaurants have the nutrition information on their website. Of course, it's handy to know beforehand! 

Little changes really make a difference. If we grab fast food I try to go to Culvers so I can get mashed potatoes as a side instead of fries, or Subway. Carbs are my biggest weakness. I could never do the South Beach Diet! I do allow myself french fries, and other naughty foods here and there if we're out to eat! I'm sure if I was more disciplined, I'd lose more weight, but I'm not so here I am. Mike and I are in love with Skinny Cow ice cream desserts! If you haven't tried them do so right now! I have the biggest sweet tooth ever, and these really help to curve my need for chocolate, DQ blizzards and cupcakes. Are they as rich and decadent as the real deal? No, but they are really good for only 100 calories, so why not substitute it? I also love the Yoplait Whips Orange--it's the only yogurt I can eat. But, it's like 130 calories and does nothing to fill me up. It's a horrible snack, so to save me the calories I just stopped buying them. I wouldn't have realized what a waste it was without calorie counting. For lunches, I find Lean Cuisine the best for me. Their pizza is great, and so are the pasta dishes. For a frozen TV dinner, they're pretty damn good. You can usually catch a sale at Target, Wal-Mart or Festival which helps! For Mike's lunches I get him Smart Ones and Michelina's Lean ones. We've been eating tilapia more often than before too. It's great for a light meal. Hopefully we'll start buying ground turkey instead of beef as the next step.

The hardest thing for me is when I work until midnight at home. I still get up around 8 a.m., and I tend to get hungry around 9-10 p.m. If I just can't ignore it, I have a bowl of cereal. Ever since I can remember, I am really affected by hunger. I get queasy and lightheaded if I don't eat when my body needs me to. I also get really crabby. Mike told me that when he had his CPR and safety training at work, the teacher told him that woman are more affected by hunger than men. Interesting...

State Farm Insurance

Michael and I met with our insurance agent today for the home, and he couldn't be more amazing! He explained everything so clearly, was fast and tried to save us as much money as possible! No pressure from him whatsoever to go with a certain policy, add-on or State Farm in general! He's even sending Michael's car loan information to State Farm Bank to see if they can refinance it for a lower percentage rate--just because. If anyone in the Fox Valley area is looking for a freakin' awesome agent, let me know and I'll message you his contact information.

This is the only thing that went smoothly so far with the home purchase, so I'm pretty excited! I didn't know insurance could be so exciting.

Insurance

Some people's families pass down heirlooms, antiques, advice and wisdom, but my mom has given me her bad luck. Ever since I was little, my mother has complained about her down-right bad luck with insurance companies. All of them. They misspell names on the insurance cards, switch my last name for hers, they have poor service and they just plain suck.

I gathered a handful of quotes online for homeowner's insurance, and after comparing them all we settled with Farmer's Insurance. All the agents were quick to follow-up with us, but we chose the one with the lowest rate. We spoke with the agent on Wednesday, and she said that the next day she'd have our official/final quote. Well, we still had nothing the next week Monday, so Mike called, left a voicemail and didn't hear back. So today he called her three times with no answer or returned call. He just called a different office and left a message explaining that we need insurance and if this agent can't help us we'll go to a different insurer.

We close on May 31, so we kinda need insurance pretty quick here. Tonight we have some loan paperwork to go through with an estimate of what our insurance should be. Wish we could have the finalized numbers in there.

Le sigh.

Diaper Cake

These are the two diaper cakes I made. The top one is the first one I ever made for my friend, the second one is the last (as of right now) and was made for Mike's sister. The top one was made with Huggies Little Snuggler and Little Mover diapers. The second one is made me with Huggies Pure and Natural diapers, simply because I wanted all white and that was the closest I could get.

You will need...

• Diapers--I believe I bought four jumbo packs for each cake. This number can vary depending on how many layers you want. Always err on the side of more, because you can give the mommy-to-be the leftovers. I got two different sizes, but having all the same size is OK too!
• Clear hair rubber bands
• Regular rubber bands--Multi-size pack
• Empty baby bottles--Two minimum
• Ribbons and bows
• Cardboard circle--You can buy cake platters at Hobby Lobby, or use a cardboard box. The first cake I used a box I had and wrapped tissue paper over it. The second one I bought the cake platter to use.
• Double-sided Scotch tape
• Any goodies you want to include--Mine all came from Target

The first step is to roll each diaper up and secure them with a clear rubber band. 

Next, you need to place the rolled diapers around the bottle and secure them with a plain rubber band. This is your inner-most ring of diapers. Once there are five or six diapers around the bottle (depending on the size, this number may vary slightly), You can put another plain rubber band around the first ring, and add diapers into it for the second ring. Repeat for the third ring, and be sure to use an appropriate sized rubber band. I was surprised at how many rolled diapers I could get into the biggest size that came in my bag. I didn't have any snap on me, and I was really worried about that!

To make the top layer, you stick the second bottle into the first (upside down) and add the diaper rings. If you know the mom's favorite candy, you can fill the bottles as a surprise. 

The first cake I made was a three-tiered, so I have a three-ringed layer on the bottom, two-ringed in the middle and one-ring on the top. The top layer was added so the giraffe blanket thingy would drape over and look right. I didn't use a third bottle, but the second bottle in the cake stuck up a bit to help keep the top layer in place. The layers are just set on top of each other, using the bottles to keep them from sliding off.

The outermost layers will be secured by a plain, ugly colored rubber band, but that's OK, because you place pretty ribbons over them. The bows in both of my cakes are children's hair clips. Otherwise I chose some rattles, small food jars, Nuks, teethers and lotion to spruce my cakes. It's not shown in the photo, but the second cake I made I ended up filling the jars on the outside with some candy. The rattles, etc are just stuck into the diapers--no adhesives used. To secure the ribbons around the layers of cake I used double-sided tape. 

Sorry there were no step-by-step pictures! Any future projects I'll be sure to take pictures as I go, but I'm just archiving the ones I've already done. If you have any questions, just ask in the comments! 

Closer

Life has been crazy with all this house stuff! We're getting closer to being home owners though. We almost have our insurance squared away, and we are still on track for closing May 31.

Most of the rooms have their paint color chosen, and I cannot wait to get our puppy soon after! I'm super pumped to not have to drive through 15 miles of highway construction every time I come into work. I think I'm more excited about that than being a home owner!

Our inspection had some downs though. Standing water in the basement. Thank God we got so much rain so we'd know! It didn't scare us away though. We have some easy fixes we'll try first to see if that helps. Otherwise, we'll need to re-grade around the house. Yuck. Messy. Expensive.

Before Mike and I become consumed with home expenses and repairs, we are taking off this weekend for a little getaway. We decided last night. So, kinda spur of the moment. We're taking advantage of my full weekend off, and heading to Baraboo for a winery tour. Spending the night in a hotel with a hot tub, and checking out the House on the Rock Sunday before we head home. Very short and rather uneventful, but it should be nice! I've always wanted to do a wine tour/tasting, so I'm pretty darn excited. Plus, who doesn't love a nice hot tub?

Before we settled on Baraboo, we originally were going to go to Door County, but since I work until midnight on Friday it wasn't ideal since the drive is a bit longer, and it's an expensive place to stay and do fun things. Then we were going to do the Leinie's Tour in Chippewa Falls, but that was all that was in the area, so that's on the back burner too. Mike mentioned how he always wanted to go to Wollersheim Winery in Baraboo. Since the House on the Rock isn't far from that, we decided Baraboo it is!

For those of you who don't know, the House on the Rock is simply a house on a rock. There's an inn, golf course and spa. But, we're just going to the "attraction" which is a tour of the house. Mike's elementary school used to take field trips there, but he missed it. I hope it's fun! You can check out the details here if you're interested: http://www.thehouseontherock.com/.

Accepted Offer

Michael and I put in an offer on a home we found, and it was accepted! We gave them a deadline of my  birthday to respond, so that was a pretty darn good present! It's a small starter home. Not what we were expecting, but it's cute. I think they recently flipped it because everything is updated. It's about the same size as our apartment now, but it has an attached garage, basement and a yard. Plus it's OURS. And our mortgage and insurance will still be cheaper than our rent.

I can't wait to actually do the things on my Pinterest For the Home board! Finally! My mind is in a frenzy trying to think of paint colors and furniture layouts. I hope the home inspection goes well, because we already ran into too many bumps in the road on this journey!

My Dos and Don'ts to Home Buying

I heard buying a house is one of the top three most stressful milestones in your life. What I didn't know is that it would actually be stressful.

Here's what I've learned so far on my unsuccessful venture to buying our first home.

1. Property taxes matter--the higher they are, the higher your monthly payments will be. Even if you're getting an amazing deal on a house that's listed for half of what it's worth and is now in your price range, the property taxes may not fit within your pre-approval budget.
2. Do not be a temporary employee
3. Do not have debt
4. Do have great credit (you'll need debt to have good credit; it's a fine line and a not fun game. Fortunately both Mike and I have outstanding credit.)
5. Do not get attached--Seriously. I don't know how to not get attached, but I advise you to do your best to hate or mildly like houses.
6. Get a pre-approval in writing up front so you know what your price range is. Don't deviate too far from this.
7. Have an awesome real estate agent; we love ours!
8. Do have patience. 
9. Know all your loan options--We have a loan originator who is working her butt off crunching numbers for each house we're interested in, and doing her best to get us our absolute maximum loan amount. I realize this conflicts with #6, but we're a special case in that I cannot be on the loan because I'm a temp, even though I'm the one that has a higher income. So she knows we can afford what we want, but the underwriter can only do what they can do. It is what it is, folks.
10. Unless you're rich, you'll need to compromise and make trade-offs. You can't always have everything on your wish list.
11. Don't settle. We have seen so many houses that are really close to what we want, but aren't quite right. Yes you need to compromise on your wish list, but do not settle for less than what you want or deserve. You'll be mad and full of regrets every day you come home, and most certainly every month you right your mortgage check!

Survival Bracelets

Michael and I finally purchased our Paracord bracelets. They're a fashionable addition to our survival gear. For those of you who don't know what these are, basically it's a bracelet made out of a very strong string that can be used for anything imaginable! Each bracelet carries several feet of cord, even though it's only a few inches in diameter (mine is seven inches).

Girls, they are SEVERAL colors and combinations to choose from. You can even add beads to them. Mine wasn't quite what I expected, but am eager to get another. I chose "moss" and "turquoise" in the weave pattern (as shown below).

Visit the website here to order yours! The shipping was SUPER fast, even though it we selected standard ground shipping. We ordered on Saturday and they were delivered on Wednesday. From Arizona to our home in Wisconsin.

The Retail Worker's Curse

When I started my first job at 16 years old, it was as a bagger/cashier at Copps Food Center. Later in college I quit Copps and began working at Menards as a cashier, and later a sales rep. That is eight years of retail, and eight years of saying "hello" to every single customer I saw, whether they wanted help from me or not. And even though I don't work in retail any more, I continue to smile strangers... Everywhere. When I'm shopping at Target, I grin and nod my head to passersby. While strolling through the produce aisles at Festival Foods I perk up and say hi to the lady next to me picking out Red Delicious Apples.

Some ignore me, some raise their eyebrows, some wearily return a smile and very few reply with a cheery hello. I don't want to acknowledge them, my body just does it. It's almost like a reflex now. I know how to kick a habit, but how do you kick a reflex? I'm starting to think you don't...

Things I Hate: Noisy Birds and Movie Talkers

There is a bird's nest on the top our air conditioner, so every morning around 5 I wake up to chirping. I hate it. I am not Thoreau, and I do not feel like I'm one with nature. I feel inconvenienced for leaving my window open. Like I'm being punished for saving electricity and enjoying the crisp night air.

What are they talking about anyway? Are they discussing their plans for the day in great detail? Assigning their daily duties?

"Barry, you get breakfast. Joney, you're on lunch. That leaves dinner for you, Sam. And I want dessert! Make it good. We're all counting on you." And that's when a fight breaks out, because Joney is sick of being bossed around by Lou.

These thoughts are probably why it takes me FOREVER to fall back asleep after slamming the window shut in hopes to scare them away for a bit.

Secondly, Mike and I went to see Hunger Games on Friday. Good movie. Loud neighbors. They wouldn't shut up despite the numerous sharp head-turning glares I sent their way. I kept wanting to say something to them, but then I got nervous they'd say something really clever back, and I wouldn't have a comeback and I'd look like a fool. This has been a problem for me since like middle school. It's a shame, really. They would comment as the movie unfolded. Things like, "Oh, what's she doing now? ...Oh! That's right, yada yada yada." And other times it'd be telling the other about earlier that day when so and so did such and such. They'd carry out a full conversation and laugh, saying "And I told him no, it's exactly the opposite! EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!" Hardee har har. And she slurped her soda. 

House Buying Progress!

Since I'm the most impatient person in the universe, trying to buy a house is the most drawn-out experience ever. But, this morning I was able to call a real estate agent to set up an appointment for a house showing! 

Because I'm a temporary employee and was struggling to get a loan, my friend Alvin told me to call his step mom who is a loan originator. She is AMAZING! She did exactly what I wanted. I gave her all of our information and told what the price point we wanted. Then she did all this stuff behind the scenes with her tools and knowledge and now she is confident we'll be pre-approved for the amount we asked for! On April 1st we'll know for sure. Nope, not an April Fool's joke. The company she works for is partnering with a new service, so she needs to wait until then to officially pre-approve us. Otherwise, if we do it now with their current service, it probably won't happen. 

I feel like an expert on credit and home buying now after speaking with her. She has explained everything to me so clearly. Obviously I know like .0002% of what she does, but I am just ecstatic! Of course I say this now, but when my water heater dies and my roof leaks I'll be singing another tune!

DIY Record Bowls

 So after making the mail organizer from cheap records (click here for details), I had a lot of leftovers. After thinking of what I can do with them, I decided to make some bowls. Here's how I did it...

I used:

• A baking sheet
• Tin Foil
• Records (duh)
• Stainless steel mixing bowls--3 different sizes: in my set of four, I used the small, medium, and second largest
• Work gloves, oven mits or an old T-shirt to transfer the hot record into bowls

I lined a baking sheet with tin foil, and set the oven for 250 degrees. Once the oven was pre-heated, I placed the record on top of the foil-lined pan and stuck it in the oven to "cook" for two minutes. When I pulled it out, I used an old T-shirt to transfer the now soft record into a stainless steel mixing bowl. It ruffled itself inside the mixing bowl, and then I used another smaller mixing bowl (the next size down) to flatten the bottom of the record by putting it inside the record that was inside the bigger bowl. Once it's cooled off a bit (about 30 seconds to a minute) I took it out of the mixing bowl and was done! Super easy!

If the ruffles are too uneven for your taste, you can plop it back into the oven for another two minutes. It softens the record flat again so you can reform it.

I found placing the record inside the bowl gave me the best results. I also tried draping it over the top of an upside down mixing bowl, but didn't have the greatest luck that way. I think it'd be fun to use some smaller square dishes, but I didn't have any, so that's a bummer!

Since I didn't need five record bowls, I gave them away to friends who were a little too excited about them. I was surprised by the Facebook reaction I got to them. Before giving them away, I personalized them like I did the mail organizer. Here's one I gave to my work BFF, Molly. 

I used a picture of her kid, I mean dog, Eddie. Using Publisher, I changed the shape of the picture to a 5" circle and printed it out. I used Mod Podge to glue the picture inside over the existing label. 

As always, if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask in the comments!

Hanging Mail Organizer From Records

I found this idea on Pinterest. You can see the original blog post here. I pretty much followed it to a T, except I only used two rivets, mainly because I hate the rivet tool! It takes a lot of arm muscle, which I do not have. I also personalized the record labels. Since this was a gift for my step dad, I used Publisher to print out the names of his past bands and current one. (He and my mom have been playing in a band since I can remember. They play rock music like Metallica, KISS, AC/DC plus newer stuff like Weezer, STP and Foo Fighters. Mom plays bass, step dad plays guitar and sings.)

I'm so sorry I don't have a video or photos to show you these steps. It is easy and difficult at the same time... If you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to ask in the comments!

 Items you'll need:

• Records--I got mine from the $.25 bin at our local music store. Make sure you have extras in case you screw up like me. :)
• Rivets and rivet tool--I got mine from Menards, the cheapest ones they had
• Drill bit (and drill) to match the size of your rivets. I believe I used 3/8" but it really doesn't matter (as long as it's not like a 3" rivet, that'd be ridiculous).
• Old T-shirt
• Aligator clamps
• Iron
• If you personalize the record labels like I did, you'll need Mod Podge or glue. I used Mod Podge to help protect the paper from being torn.

To shape the record, I put it in an old T-shirt and then ran my iron (set to the hottest temperature) over the bottom half for quite a while. Once the entire bottom half is flexible, I wrapped it up and over a paper towel cardboard tube. It's important to make sure the record is heated through the center where the label is so you can begin your bend there. That's where you place the cardboard tube, and then you just flop the bottom half over that and hold in place until cooled.

I bent it while it was still inside the T-shirt because I did not have work gloves, and didn't feel like burning my hands. I found this worked fine, but if you have work gloves, by all means you can take the record out of the shirt before bending it over the tube.

To avoid rippling in the record, I tried to hold it as still as possible and only touching the parts that wrap around the tube. Try to make this as smooth and level as possible because you string the records together by adding rivets to the back of the first record and the lip on the second. If there's rippling on the lip that you bent, it may crack when you put the rivet in. (Which I learned the hard way, so please learn from my mistake.)

Also, when you bend the record up to form the lip, it's best to line the top of the lip the center of the label (where the hole is). I found this to be the best way to measure.

Once all the records were shaped and cooled, I began drilling the holes. It really helps to have clamps to hold the two records in place while you drill. I did not have clamps and I wanted to cry. But, as you can see below, it can be done! If you want to be really picky you can use white out or something to line the rivets up evenly on all your records. I just eyeballed it.

As I said above, you place the back of one record to the bent part of the second (as shown in picture above). Once the holes are drilled, the rivets secure the two records together. I pieced together the chain of records one at a time. So I drilled, then put the rivets in. Then I drilled the next record on and put the rivets in.

I added the personalizations at the very end, but if you're not adding those, then you're done! Read no further! I did not add a hanger to the back of it, because you can hang it by a nail through the the top record's hole.

To make my labels, I scanned my step dad and mom's bands' CD booklets into my computer, and used Paint to trim them off--which was a pain in the A. If you've ever used Paint for an actual project you'll understand.

I put their band name into 5.2" circles so they were a tad bit bigger than the original label. I put Mod Podge down on the existing label, and placed my printout on top and smoothed it out. Once it was in place, I added some Mod Podge around the edges to prevent peeling. And then I was done. Thank God, because this was a hard project for me! Worth it, though, since he loved it!

Do Not Broil: How to Not Cook Porkchops

Mike was super excited for some stuffed porkchops we bought at Festival. I'm not a big fan of pork, and have never cooked it before, so when I asked Michael what to bake it on, he told me to use our glass dish.

After 30 minutes of baking at 350 degrees, they were almost done. He just wanted to brown them a bit, so he bumped up the temperature. After about five or 10 minutes he announced that they were "browning up real nice" and he turned the oven off. Not one minute later do we hear a shattering crash from the oven. Mike opened the oven door slightly to find the pork chops resting on a cushion of broken glass. He was right--they were browned up real nice.

Turns out he cranked the eat up to BROIL. While I wouldn't have suggested broil, I also wouldn't have known that my glass baking dish cannot survive that kind of heat. I'm just glad it happened in the oven, not in Mike's hands. It seemed like it broke downard, rather than a full-blown explosion, but we didn't risk eating the porkchops just in case there were some shards jammed in there.

Mike felt horrible about it, saying it was the stupidest thing he's ever done. I'm just glad I wasn't on cleanup duty. We don't have a broom/dustpan, our handheld vacuum doesn't have good suction, and we weren't really comfortable using our actual vacuum for glass. So, Mike used tongs, a spatula, a serving spoon and a damp rag to get all the glass out. There may or may not be some undetected sandy pieces still at the bottom.

Shooting Range Excursion

Yesterday my friend came to town to go shooting with Michael and me. She's shot a deer rifle before, but that's it. So, even though it was a SUPER windy day (25 mph winds), we headed to the outdoor gun range. It was pretty busy considering the weather. We started out shooting Mike's AR. That's always fun; it's my favorite!

This is my friend Mindy shooting the AR. She is now addicted! (Notice her hair being whipped around from the wind!)

This is me with the AR from a different range we went to in September. (I don't have one of me from yesterday's excursion.)

The picture of the target below is my bullseye with the AR from January when Mike and I went to test out his new scope I bought him for Christmas. He did not get a bullseye that day ;)
 

The range we went to yesterday is in the process of building the seven yard area for shooting hand guns, so normally we'd shoot from the 15 yard range. But, it was so busy that there wasn't a spot open, so we shot from the 25 yard range. The distance was bad enough, but with the horrible winds it was even worse. But, I just had to shoot my lavendar lady... It had been too long.


                                                                       Isn't it pretty?

I'm so glad Mindy came to the range with us, because I think it's important to be comfortable with guns. Naturally she was nervous. There are tons of things to think about--flying bullets, the kickback, misfires, etc. But she had a blast, walked away with knowledge and feels confident handling them (she even wants to buy one now). When Mike first introduced me to guns I was super nervous. I wasn't around them as a kid, so I was as far away from comfortable as you can get--simply touching one made me edgey. Shooting has definitely become a fun hobby for me now. My aim still needs some work, but who knows, maybe if I get really good you'll see me on Top Shot.

Lyrics Necklace

My first Pinterest project I did, was this necklace. I changed it up a bit from the original post, which you can see here. Unfortunately I only have an after picture. I got all my supplies from Hobby Lobby.

Supplies I used:
paper
printer
Mod Podge
paint brush (a foam brush may be better)
30" chain (I chose gun metal color for chain, clasp and jump rings)
clasp
jump rings
beads
lighter (the long candle ones)
needle nose pliers
chain cutter

Instead of using book pages like the original tutorial, I printed out lyrics in different fonts to some of my favorite songs by my favorite band, Alkaline Trio, along with their heart skull symbol. The original tutorial used foam board, and I really wish that I had, too. I used regular computer paper. It works, and it's still pretty (I think), but the charms are so light that they flip backward a lot when I wear it. I think that if they were heavier (like foam board) they'd stay put better. I have been thinking about adding weight to the backs of them. Maybe smaller buttons or something?

So, after printing out the lyrics I wanted, I cut out five circles and covered them in Mod Podge. A lot of Mod Podge (both front and back). Be patient, wait about 20 minutes in between coats. I think I did like three layers of it. Also, if you use a regular paint brush be careful not to leave lines from the bristles. That's why I think a foam brush would be better. I used a damp paper towel to help clear any lines I saw. I'd recommend Viva Towels, because they're unquilted so they won't leave more lines. After about five to seven minutes of drying you can start to tell if it will be liney, so that's how long I recommend waiting to see if lines form.

Once they're dried, I burned the edges with a long lighter. I did this step over the kitchen sink, and had the water running from the faucet the whole time. I held the charm with piers in one hand, and ran the lighter over the edges with the other. I blew out the flame when it was singed to my liking. It wasn't as scary as I anticipated. I also tested Mod Podge's flammability on a plain piece of paper first. No scary moments happened, so hopefully you have good luck as well! Like I said, keep the faucet running just in case!

Once they're all burned, I painted some more Mod Podge on them all again to protect them, and keep the burned edges from just falling off. I added another couple of coats. The ashes can blur into the words, though so be careful. Paint inward out.

Next was the hard part (for me anyway): putting the necklace together. First I attached the clasp to the chains, one strand being shorter than the other so that the two strands wouldn't be on top of each other. I don't know if there's a better way to do this, but I just put it on in front of a mirror, held my fingers to the length I thought was best, took it off, cut the chain and voila! There are mannequins you can buy to help fit and make necklaces, but since I'm not a serious jewelry maker, so I didn't have one!

Those darn jump rings are tricky. When I do other jewelry I like to use the keychain-looking jump rings, but because these charms were so fragile, I used the normal ones. I put the charms on first, eyeballing it to where it would look good. Trying it on many times and then placing the charms on. I used two links of chain to attach the white beads over top of the charm.

It's a time-consuming project, but I love my necklace! I get compliments on it whenever I wear it. :) I hope all my steps make sense, but if you have any questions please ask them in the comments and I'll be happy to answer!