Questions

Here is a short list of questions I often ask myself:

• It is the 21st century... Why can't semi trucks accelerate to 65 mph by the time they reach the end of the on-ramp to enter the highway?
  
• Why don't I pee BEFORE I paint my nails?!
  
• When will Michael hang the curtain pull-backs I bought in June? Why don't I just do it myself?
  
• How do I not get sick of watching reruns of Gilmore Girls, Full House, Frasier and Roseanne no matter how many times I've seen the episode?
  
• Can I just get married now please? For free. Thanks.
  
• Will my walnut tree ever be empty of nuts? It's so scary to stand in my yard without a helmet.
  
• How was I lucky enough to get the best puppy in the universe?
  
• Why does Michael always try to talk to me while I'm blow drying my hair?
  
• Why oh why did I move to a city with no Taco Johns?
  
• When the H will Kraft get their shit together and change their box-opening design. It has never worked, and it never will. "To open, push here" it says. But opening it by a simple press of the thumb is NEVER going to happen.