Sock Fight

Today I did Mike's laundry, and it reminded me of a "fight" we had a few months ago. You see, he found a "new" white sock in his clothes pile. He declared it must be mine, because it was too white and new to be his. After I looked at it I said, "Michael, that is not mine--it's huge!" He was too stubborn to realize that maybe (just maybe) this particular sock has been hiding at the back of the drawer for a few months. Disgusted by this "mysterious" sock, he tossed it in the garbage.

So today I snuck into his sock drawer determined to prove myself right. And what did I find? A crisp, white sock to match the one he carelessly threw away. Now this lonely sock will be without it's sole mate (see what I did there?).

He obviously has this style of sock in his "used" sock collection...

Just for laughs, here's a comparison of his athletic sock (bottom) compared to mine (top).

My Puppy is Acting Like a Puppy

Remember that cute, little fluffy pup I brought home on July 7? Me neither. I literally have to look at pictures to remember how little he was! It's funny to think how much my life is different now that I have a "baby". Things I can add to my resume:

• Amateur Dog Whisperer
• Typical Worrisome Mom

This morning I brought Caliber in from his kennel and noticed a red spot on the inside of his back leg.  I got a good look at it and saw a thin, red ring with pink shading inside. Oh no. Ringworm. I called the vet and took him in.

The doctor held a black light up to the spot to see if it glowed under it. If it glows, it's a good indication that it is indeed ringworm. It did not glow. :) Whew! She told me that ringworm in dogs is actually more scaley and typically on their face. It's most often picked up by cats who are infected. He was wrestling with another puppy at the dog park, and it could've been a bruise from that. I had no idea a bruise could look like human ringworm, but, I am so glad it does! It could also be a bug bite. Either are likely.

While we there, we also checked to see if his second testicle descended, and it did! Finally! If it didn't by six months, it means it probably will never drop, and he'd need surgery to remove it. If it stays up in him, then he's more likely to develop the cancers that are associated with that area. We also weighed him... My 15-weeks-old German Shepherd is 37.6 pounds of puppy love. Woof!

I haven't noticed any of his teeth missing yet, but he should start losing them soon. In the meantime, my monster has been doing some cliche puppy things I could do without.

So far he's eaten 1.5 rolls of Cottonelle Clean Care toilet paper right off the dispenser.


And he thought eating and scratching the wall next to the electrical outlet would be a great snack.


I still love my little guy. He does me proud most of the time. Today he got into the car all by himself instead of putting his front paws up and waiting for further assistance. He conquered the couch a few weeks back too. His next big obstacle is stairs. The only ones we have are down to our basement (which you access through the garage), so he isn't around them to practice. Last weekend at my dad's house he went upstairs by himself, and then was stuck. It took him a few minutes, but with patience and encouragement he came down all by himself. When I go down to the basement at home, though, he just waits anxiously and lets out a few barks until I return. Those stairs are scary--I'll give him that. No light, and they're not even heights. So they suck for us humans, too!

New York City

I want to visit New York City, but not today's New York City. I want to visit NYC in the 1930s. When it was cool to play trumpets and saxophones, because you can hear the soul of the music through them. When telephone numbers had exchange names, like WEllington 3-1247. When TV would have dead air--on purpose. When people danced for fun, not because they are drunk. When people walked to school uphill both ways with no shoes in the snow. When people traveled by train, and decorated their luggage with stickers. When drug stores sold sundaes. When girls wore dresses and boys were suits. When roads were bumpy, not with blacktop patches, but with cobblestone (I don't know what roads were made out of in the 30s, but in my mind it's cobblestone).

Why New York? I don't know. Maybe city life in the 1930s was the same in all the big towns, but I feel like fast-paced New York is the right city to be in during this era. After all, it's where Lucille Ball was.

DIY Kitchen Art

So I was dying to put up something fun on our white kitchen walls. To kill some dead space when we first moved in, I threw up our coffee clock and my calendar on some nails that were left by the previous tenants. While I was wondering around on Pinterest, I stumbled upon this cute giraffe DIY art. Then I realized that I could do the same thing, but make it kitchen-themed! Hooray! To be honest, I didn't really read her tutorial. All I read was "silhouette" and I took it from there!

So I Googled "kitchen silhouettes" and found some free clipart that I downloaded. I decided to stick with the things we love most--coffee and wine. I enlarged the images in Publisher, and printed out just the outline (to save ink). Then I went to Wal-Mart and bought 4 cheap 8X10 frames and scrap book paper.

I taped my silhouette cut outs onto the patterned scrapbook paper I wanted to use, and cut out the shape. Then I taped the cutout to my backing paper (the silver is foil paper) and threw it in the frame! Simple! The hardest part was hanging them. I hate measuring and figuring it all out. So I sorta randomly hung one and then made Michael do the rest :) He's not the biggest of fan of them--he finds them "kinda plain". But, I like that their simplicity.

I'm sorry for the poor quality photos, I had to use my phone. The camera cord is somewhere in the abyss of my basement... It was impossible to not get reflections in the glass, or the foil paper!

Making Tacos is Hard

To save a few bucks, Mike and I have been buying 5lbs of hamburger and separating it into one 1lb bag and two 2lb bags to freeze for about a month now. The other night we decided on tacos for dinner, so I took out the bag of hamburger from the fridge and dumped it in the frying pan. Mike was trying to get Caliber to take his pill, which wasn't going well for him. I started to think, "Geez, this is a lot of hamburger for this pan... Maybe it's just because it's still in big chunks." Then Mike goes, "HONEY! That's TWO pounds!"

Darnit.

After Michael and I bickered about, "Didn't that look like a lot of meat for the pan?!" "Yes, I was just thinking that..." I removed the pan from the hot burner to prevent any more cooking, and grab a new Ziploc Freezer Bag. I was just about to scoop some hamburger back in the bag when I realized I set it on top of the hot burner I just moved the pan from.

Good Lord.

And now Michael thinks I'll never get that off. Really? You're challenging my cleaning skills? Please.

Before I began scouring it, I simply peeled it off. Yup--that easy! No damage done! There were a few smaller pieces I couldn't get off, so I just used my dish sponge. Voila! So if you ever melt plastic on your stove top, there's an easy cleaning solution!

Welcome to Motherhood... Kind of.

Since we welcomed our puppy, Caliber, into our home, I find myself doing a lot of things I never thought I'd do. For instance, I talk for my dog. A lot. He tends to be very polite this way. I refer to myself in third person (as "mom", "mommy", or "mama"). For example, "Mama loves you! Yes she does! She loves you soooooo much!" I talk to him a lot. It's rather ridiculous. I narrate my life to him, and I doubt he even cares. "Mama is going to the kitchen to do the dishes!" "OK, crazy lady... Thanks for the update. I'm gonna continue to chew on my toy."

He hasn't had his final puppy booster shot yet, so I'm a bit paranoid of him meeting other dogs we don't know. Which happened on last night's walk. A very nice grey poodle named Zoey came out to greet us around the block. We let them hang out for a few moments introducing themselves, and the whole time I was panicking that Zoey had 87 different types of transferable bacterium she was passing to Caliber. They were certainly all fatal. Cesar would not approve of this meeting unless we knew Zoey's medical history was outstanding. We walked around the corner, and I expressed my paranoia to Michael. I suddenly stopped and said, "Oh my God. I'm that person--Oh my God, I'm your sister!" You see, one of his sisters was a freak with her first child. I make fun of her (even to her face) about how crazy she seemed to me. Sanitizing everything, not allowing her apple juice because it would make her hyper, etc.

It's been quite an adventure these past three weeks with Caliber. He makes me so happy, scared, upset and paranoid. All totally worth it. As long as he doesn't chew my valuables that is! ;) He's still doing well with his training. He usually listens, unless he's tired or playful. I'm finding it very hard to teach him to "stay". Sometimes it's hard for me to remember he's just a puppy and still has time to learn. He figured out how to bark a week and a half ago, and he occasionally gets sassy--especially if he really wants to bite your toes that you've hidden under your legs!

Puppy Love

Michael and I brought home a beautiful puppy, Caliber, on Saturday, July 7. I've had his name picked out months before we even bought the house. He's a 9-weeks-old German Shepherd from Jerland Kennels. Mike has been wanting a dog from there for nine years. It's a very reputable breeder from Barron, Wisconsin. The owner trained the German Shepherd in Beverly Hills Chihuahua. He also raised and trained the mom to the German Shepherd who plays Jerry Lee in K9 Cop. They are true German Shepherds, bred on strict Germany guidelines.

Caliber is from the last litter V Kalli von der Werther-Muhle SchH III KKL1a will ever have. Kalli was V10 at the 2007 SV Bundessiegerzuchtschan, on Sep 2nd, in Braunschweig, Germany. This contest is only open to the top 100 dogs via invitation only. He has only good reviews. I typically don't care about any of this stuff (I learned so much about breeding when we went to Jerland). I would have adopted a dog from the humane society, but it's great to know he comes from "good blood" because Jerland guarantees against hip displaysia and other common large breed ailments because of their good, strict breeding. They also offer free training sessions from their German trainer. We're going to take him when he's older, it's just gonna suck because it's a 3.5 hour car ride one way for us! Because of all these things, we spent entirely way too much money on the little guy. We are strapped for cash now, but how are you supposed to choose a different puppy when he puts his paw on your hand? 

Caliber has been doing exceptionally well adjusting to his new home. Only two accidents in the house since we've had him for a week and two days. He has a wonderful temperment, meaning he isn't scared by sudden noises (like when I use the shredder, or drop a kettle, etc.) or charge at you when you come through the door. He already understands a few commands, but he can be super stubborn at times! Definitely a puppy! The only "drr" thing he does is eat rocks and dirt. The dirt I can understand, the rocks I'm annoyed by. He could choke or chip a tooth, or God knows what... Unfortunately our yard has a hard time growing grass because of all the shade we have. We decided to put sod over the portion of the yard that is basically a rock garden to deter this.

The first time I put him in his outdoor pen I thought I was going to die. I felt like the worst mom in the universe. He's getting much better now, and so am I! He still whimpers a bit, but it's not horrible. We give him water, his toys and it's very well shaded! Thank God we haven't had any super hot days that I needed to go to work and leave him in there. We opted to use this outdoor pen, because it was already here when we moved in. It has a dog house that we'll need to rebuild to make bigger in a few months, but overall it's great. It's a 10X10 fenced in area behind our garage. The dog house actually attaches to the garage and there's a door that connects it to the garage.

Michael and I aren't really into the whole kenneling your dog thing. We're gone at work for eight hours a day, and until he's older he can get into a lot that I can prevent while I'm gone. I don't want him cooped up for that amount of time. Our breeder suggested we use the outdoor pen because they enjoy being outside. It's better than being baby-gated into a portion of my kitchen. And I agree--unless it's too hot, then obviously inside is more ideal.






He is such a good boy (most of the time). He really filled a part of my heart I didn't know was empty. 

Enemy Number One: Earwigs

Ever since day one of owning our new home, I noticed a buzzing noise whenever I opened the front door. People thought I was nuts, because it only happened if you hadn't opened it in quite a while, and no one ever heard it. I was convinced there was something living inside my door frame, since the noise always came from the top of the door jam. Finally Mike heard it too, and I wasn't crazy any more.


Then one day I was coming inside and saw an earwig on the outside of my front door. I instantly convinced myself they were the culprits living in my door! I picture them crowding inside my door frame in one large hoard. Sick! Sick! Sick!


Then I saw an earwig on the inside of my house. Then I found a few more. I called a pest control company right away and they came the next day and sprayed all around the outside of my house to stop earwigs (and any other pests) from trudging into MY home (a 30 day guarantee). I felt better having my home soaked in pesticides, and I stopped panicking anytime there was dirt on the floor (or just a dark spot on the wood-like laminate flooring we have). Then two days later I saw one darting across my wall late at night. OMG, they go up walls! Mike was asleep and if I woke him up for this he'd be very unhappy.


This little guy was fast, so I had to act fast. I grabbed a paper towel, wrapped it around Mike's shoe (never use your own--ew!), and smacked it. Eeeeeek! Why is it so hard for girly girls to kill bugs? Because they're sick, that's why. And you gotta get real close and they could suddenly have springs for legs and jump into your eye.


So I decided the best thing to do was read all about earwigs.


Orkin's website tells me they are not venomous, they do NOT go into people's ears and eat their brains--it's an old wives' tale--they rarely bite and probably just ventured into my home by human error--like the door was left open, or there's a hole in the window screen. They like warm, damp places, leaves and vegetation. OK. Feeling better.


But then I looked across my desk and saw my little potted plant. It has moist soil. I began to panic again, because obviously it was hosting an earwig party. Finally, I worked up my courage, grabbed the red ceramic pot and rushed it outside to the garage. Whew. Close call. Next I inspected our entryways and windows--nothing too obvious, but earwigs are tiny. Back to the computer.


I did a little research on how to get rid of earwigs, and this is what I came up with:

• Invite their enemy to your yard--birds. Get bird feeders or bird baths so they hang out (and hunt) in your area.
• Spray your plants/gardens with warm, soapy water--it acts as a natural pesticide. 
• Clear away leaves and other yard debris from your house so they aren't as close.
• Use dehumidifiers in your crawl space and attic to make it uninviting to them.
• Put vegetable oil in a small container where you think they are--They climb in, get stuck and die. 

And of course these tips were found on multiple websites, and forums. So I read the comments, and despite Orkin's professional documentation about earwigs, there were a few people who said they had an earwig in their ear. Oh. My. God. IN THEIR EAR! I know, I know--Mike and I have a house rule to not believe anything you read on the Internet (you can read about that here). But, this is different! Another person had an infestation in their bed. Where they sleep. Where I was headed...


Needless to say, my house plant is still in the garage, and earwigs are now on my long list of Things That Make Me Shriek. 

No Red Flag

Since our move I have had a hard time with the postal service. Our mail box is attached to our house (the walk-up kind), and it does not have a red flag or ribbon to alert the mail carrier to pick up my mail. I keep getting mail addressed to the previous tenant, and it just sits in my mail box. I feel like I need a flashing pink neon sign that reads, "For the love of God, take my outgoing mail!" Mike and I are going out tonight to find a solution. We're hoping to just find a red flag to screw on to our existing box. My dad has an old red ribbon that someone just taped into their mail box. Where do you get plastic red ribbon? The closest thing I have is a "The choice for me is drug free" red ribbon from God knows when.

Red flag woes aside, there is one other problem I had with the mail. On June 13 a package from Target arrived on my doorstep addressed to the previous tenant of my new home. The mail carrier didn't take the package even though I used a pink Sharpie to write "RTN to sender--not at this adderess". I gave it two days, but there it sat. I brought it in each night in case it rained. So I emailed Target asking if they could arrange UPS or FedEx (whoever their delivery service is) to come take it back since it's not my problem.

They requested multiple numbers and information from the shipping label (because apparently my address and her name were not enough clues). So, I sent them all the information I could gather from the label.

They returned telling me to print a return label and take it to a UPS store, and they are sending me a $5 Target gift card for the inconvenience. I also found out the order was placed on June 8. The previous tenant moved out the first weekend in May, so it's not really my fault she failed to update her address.

I told them I am not wasting any more time, or going out of my way to return this package to a UPS store. So, either they can arrange to have UPS pick it up, or I will drop it off at my local Target when I drive by it later today.

Am I being a total bitch? Maybe, but seriously I don't feel like wasting my ink, time or energy finding a UPS store and returning this girl's purchase just because she didn't bother to change her address. Perhaps this will lead to bad karma? I didn't try to steal it though, and I was dying to know what was inside.

So I dropped off the package at Target later that day. I was explaining the whole situation to the lady at the service desk, when she decided to open the box to find a packing slip. While I didn't think that was necessary, I was happy to find that it was a Mr. Coffee coffee maker. Whew, mystery solved. A little disappointed that it wasn't something super expensive though.

Next thing I know, I am being asked to select a reason for the return on the credit card machine. I said, "I don't want to return it, it's not mine." She exasperatedly replied, "I know, I know, but I cannot get past this part until you select a reason.So just pick one--any one--it doesn't matter" So I randomly chose "Changed my mind". Then I was told that $30 something will be returned to her credit card. I stepped back and said, "No! I do not have authorization to credit her credit card! I don't want to return it for money, I want to give it back to Target, so they can send it back to wherever it came from!" And I walked away.

I really feel like if the lady would have just listened to my explanation fully before jumping into opening the box, it would have gone a lot smoother. The fact that she said "...returned to HER credit card" I know she knew I wasn't the person who ordered it. I just need to make this face: O_o

Although all this was a nuisance, it was not at the fault of Target, so taking the $5 gift card makes me feel really guilty.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

There are few regrets I have in life, but what I did last Friday is definitely on that short list.

Before we purchased our new washer and dryer I talked to friends and family and read a lot of online reviews and forums. On a forum, someone wrote they thought the Whirlpool Duet washing machine was cool because it holds all the detergent for you from the bottle, and automatically dispenses it in the machine each wash. Mike and I ended up buying the Duet washer/dryer set because they were on sale at Menards with 0 payments and 0 interest for 12 months.

When we got it all set up and running, I didn't see in the directions where it said you could pour the entire detergent bottle in the washer, so I didn't. I did a few loads normally. Then Mike mentioned it as a feature to my parents, and I chimed in saying that I did it the old fashioned way, because the directions don't say that you can. And these appliances have tons of options... I'm not sure what they all are, even! Thank God there's a cycle called "normal" so I know what to fall back on!

But, last Friday... Last Friday I was feeling brave. I poured my entire bottle of detergent down the hole of my brand new washing machine. It's an HE washer and detergent, so it was good for 64 loads! After a few seconds, somehow my hand slipped a bit and I accidentally got some on the wall... Obviously God was slapping my hand saying "Stop!" But, I was all "Pfft... what does God know?!"

As I was emptying the soap into the washer, my gut was screaming "THIS IS WRONG!" I doubted it every step of the way, so I'm not sure why I continued to dump it in. But, it didn't start leaking or seem to get full. Once my canister was empty, I got even more paranoid to push the start button. So I sat on hold with Whirlpool for 12 minutes before someone answered. He was in Tennessee, and all I could picture was Ernie from Bent Forks, Tennessee (a character from "I Love Lucy"). Our conversation didn't go well. I told him which model I had, and asked if this "feature" was real. He said, "no." And he stuck to that answer. Then I asked him, "What if I already poured the entire bottle of detergent into the washing machine?" He kept telling me I shouldn't even be able to pour that much detergent in. I told him that it never started leaking, or backing up, or anything. He was insistent that I get it out if I can, because you're only supposed to use 1/2 cup at most. He didn't make me feel better, since he had to ask if my machine has a drawer I open to dispense the detergent... I'm not sure that he even truly knew what machine I was talking about, actually. He told me that if I run it with that much detergent in the washer, the suds could leak out the front, as well as back up the drain and leak suds there. Oh. My. God. What have I done?

I ran to True Value for a suction gun. The tube would NOT fit down the hole, so I finally called Michael. In tears. He was awesome and told me we'd get it out. So I ran back to True Value and got two sizes of flexible hose, both which still would NOT go down the hole. Please God fix this.

We have our washer/dryer stacked to save room, so thankfully I could help Mike lift the dryer down. I asked him if we should take the clothes out I had in there, but he said "No, it won't make a difference." I tell you this, because you'll find it amusing later on.

A handful of screws and a disconnected hose later, we got nothin'. The detergent doesn't go anywhere. We have no idea. We decide to put it back together, and this is where Mike gets cut up. The hose we disconnected is very flexible, and the metal tie that secures it to the plastic piece requires plyers. Basically, you need about five hands doing something, and there's barely room for one hand in this space. Plus, the opening where Mike needed to put his hands was edged in sharp metal. Pretty cool. Eventually, Mike got it re-attached.

So we finally decide to take the clothes out and run the washer. Well, when I was taking them out, I found the detergent. It goes right to the bottom of the drum. The bottom layer of laundry was drenched in detergent. Had we done this first, we wouldn't have taken it all apart, scratched up Mike's hand, and curse as much as we did. We wiped all we could from the bottom of the drum, and threw two towels in there, and started up the washer.

We let it run for a few minutes, then drained it. We carefully watched the drain, and it never suds up. So we continued to run the washer and drain it for a few hours. A week later, and we're still not adding soap to our laundry. Some loads you need to add an extra rinse cycle to, but it never got messy. Thank God for that. This prompted a new house rule for Mike and me: Don't believe anything you read on the Internet.