Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

There are few regrets I have in life, but what I did last Friday is definitely on that short list.

Before we purchased our new washer and dryer I talked to friends and family and read a lot of online reviews and forums. On a forum, someone wrote they thought the Whirlpool Duet washing machine was cool because it holds all the detergent for you from the bottle, and automatically dispenses it in the machine each wash. Mike and I ended up buying the Duet washer/dryer set because they were on sale at Menards with 0 payments and 0 interest for 12 months.

When we got it all set up and running, I didn't see in the directions where it said you could pour the entire detergent bottle in the washer, so I didn't. I did a few loads normally. Then Mike mentioned it as a feature to my parents, and I chimed in saying that I did it the old fashioned way, because the directions don't say that you can. And these appliances have tons of options... I'm not sure what they all are, even! Thank God there's a cycle called "normal" so I know what to fall back on!

But, last Friday... Last Friday I was feeling brave. I poured my entire bottle of detergent down the hole of my brand new washing machine. It's an HE washer and detergent, so it was good for 64 loads! After a few seconds, somehow my hand slipped a bit and I accidentally got some on the wall... Obviously God was slapping my hand saying "Stop!" But, I was all "Pfft... what does God know?!"

As I was emptying the soap into the washer, my gut was screaming "THIS IS WRONG!" I doubted it every step of the way, so I'm not sure why I continued to dump it in. But, it didn't start leaking or seem to get full. Once my canister was empty, I got even more paranoid to push the start button. So I sat on hold with Whirlpool for 12 minutes before someone answered. He was in Tennessee, and all I could picture was Ernie from Bent Forks, Tennessee (a character from "I Love Lucy"). Our conversation didn't go well. I told him which model I had, and asked if this "feature" was real. He said, "no." And he stuck to that answer. Then I asked him, "What if I already poured the entire bottle of detergent into the washing machine?" He kept telling me I shouldn't even be able to pour that much detergent in. I told him that it never started leaking, or backing up, or anything. He was insistent that I get it out if I can, because you're only supposed to use 1/2 cup at most. He didn't make me feel better, since he had to ask if my machine has a drawer I open to dispense the detergent... I'm not sure that he even truly knew what machine I was talking about, actually. He told me that if I run it with that much detergent in the washer, the suds could leak out the front, as well as back up the drain and leak suds there. Oh. My. God. What have I done?

I ran to True Value for a suction gun. The tube would NOT fit down the hole, so I finally called Michael. In tears. He was awesome and told me we'd get it out. So I ran back to True Value and got two sizes of flexible hose, both which still would NOT go down the hole. Please God fix this.

We have our washer/dryer stacked to save room, so thankfully I could help Mike lift the dryer down. I asked him if we should take the clothes out I had in there, but he said "No, it won't make a difference." I tell you this, because you'll find it amusing later on.

A handful of screws and a disconnected hose later, we got nothin'. The detergent doesn't go anywhere. We have no idea. We decide to put it back together, and this is where Mike gets cut up. The hose we disconnected is very flexible, and the metal tie that secures it to the plastic piece requires plyers. Basically, you need about five hands doing something, and there's barely room for one hand in this space. Plus, the opening where Mike needed to put his hands was edged in sharp metal. Pretty cool. Eventually, Mike got it re-attached.

So we finally decide to take the clothes out and run the washer. Well, when I was taking them out, I found the detergent. It goes right to the bottom of the drum. The bottom layer of laundry was drenched in detergent. Had we done this first, we wouldn't have taken it all apart, scratched up Mike's hand, and curse as much as we did. We wiped all we could from the bottom of the drum, and threw two towels in there, and started up the washer.

We let it run for a few minutes, then drained it. We carefully watched the drain, and it never suds up. So we continued to run the washer and drain it for a few hours. A week later, and we're still not adding soap to our laundry. Some loads you need to add an extra rinse cycle to, but it never got messy. Thank God for that. This prompted a new house rule for Mike and me: Don't believe anything you read on the Internet.