Zombie Apocalypse/End of the World

Mike and I probably talk more about zombie apocalypses than our future house or wedding. Normal, right? Well, ever since we discovered that Doomsday Preppers show on TV, we've been expanding our conversation from zombies to general end-of-the-world talk. If you haven't seen Doomsday Preppers, it's on the National Geographic channel, and expertly assesses people's end-of-the-world plans and preparedness. These preppers are storing food, water, weapons and securing their homes for a self-sustaining life when the economy collapses, an earthquake hits, a nuclear bomb drops, etc. Because of all the food they store (some have enough to last two years!) I suggested to Mike that they should become extreme couponers to save some money!

Some people have extremely detailed, well thought out plans on how to survive when shit hits the fan. It's incredible! Some guy changed his outdoor pool into a mini ecosystem, containing fish and produce that keeps growing on its own. I'm still blown away by it. And after every episode, despite the disclaimer that professionals feel the scenarios the preppers are prepping for are extremely unlikely, I feel super paranoid about how under-prepared Mike and I are in comparison.

What really sucks for me, is that when the end of the world comes, if it comes in my lifetime, I will be screwed. I mean, Mike can only keep me alive for so long. I don't really have a sense of direction, I am still working on my aim, I have no physical stamina, I startle easily, I don't want to touch worms and then stab them onto a metal hook to fish and then touch the fish. Once it's caught, I don't want to gut it. I don't want to eat rabbits and squirrels, I can't start a fire without a lighter, I've only touched a horse once, and it was big and scary, so riding one is a little intimidating for me.

While I'm not a good fighter, I don't fear being chased by a zombie, or being exposed to toxic chemicals from a nuclear blast. No, I fear having to eat disgusting things, like beans in a can. I am a picky eater, and I'm really nervous about the foods I'll need to eat to survive. I don't even like tomatoes or bananas, but these are things I'll need to eat because it'll be all that is available, either freeze dried or canned.

Another negative to the end of the world, and living off the land, is that I'll finally lose all this weight (ya know, from being malnourished and running from jaguars all the time) and have no one to show, no new dresses to wear, no gala affairs to attend.

The things I'll miss most (in no particular order) during the zombie apocalypse/end of the world:
Pillows
Coffee
Lotion
Makeup
Contacts
Pasta
Clean underwear
WordFeud
Heat and air conditioning
I Love Lucy
Endless supply of drinkable water
Knowing the time
Toilet paper
Indoor plumbing and electricity
Fossil purses and wallets
Hospitals with plenty of medical supplies, doctors and nurses